Losing it

So I'm the type of person that gets a random hair up my rear and I think I'm going to really kill it as a mom today. I'm really going to be awesome. We are going to get up and I'm going to take Zachary to 'school'. I call it school because it sounds better than daycare. Is it the same thing, yes, but do I get a sheet each day of what the learned, yes, so school it is. Then after school that's when I'm going to kill it. Like yesterday, I called up a new gymnastics place last week for a class last night. I'm thinking this will be great. Zachary is going to love this! We'll do gymnastics, I'll take pictures to confirm that this was a great idea, we'll stop at the grocery and he'll get a special treat for being so great, it is going to be epic! Epic it was, but not in any of the ways I intended. I knew it wasn't going to be great when they told me to have him take off his shoes and he refused. I knew it wasn't going to be great when all the other little kids were taking off their shoes and getting in line to go inside the class and Zachary wouldn't. I didn't know that it was going to go from not great to hell in less than 1 minute. As I calmly explained to Zachary that it's going to be fun and to get in line, he loudly explained to me that this wasn't going to happen. So as I see the scene getting out of control, I take him outside. Fresh air and some reasoning should do the trick. Fast forward to 5 minutes later, people staring, Zachary screaming and me red dragging him across the parking lot. He's yelling he doesn't want to leave and I say do you want to go in, and I get nothing. So now we are driving home, no grocery, no special treat and both of us crying. At this point, it has been made clear to me that I'm not a very nice person and apparently some things I say aren't very nice. I'm trying to make it clear to him that I'm not being nice because he's throwing a tantrum. I know deep down that he is 4 and I shouldn't be acting like he's at my level or vice versa but I'm going to accomplish something even if it's just winning this arguement. I did not. We get home and Eric takes over. Zachary calms down and says he's sorry and I start to think we'll just move on. So in an effort to not fully give up on doing something new, I decide today he tries Kraft macaroni and cheese at home. He will eat it only at applebees and famous dave's. Apparently they have the magic touch, but today he will try it at home. I think, we'll make it fun and I'll let him help me make it. He's excited and he's having fun. This is going to work. Today will not be a waste. Today will be a success on some level. We get to stirring in the ingredients, and I realize that we have no milk because that was on the list to get at the grocery after our fun time at gymnastics. That's okay, I'll improvise, I have dry milk in the pantry. I make some milk. The mac and cheese is done. I plate it up and Zachary is up to this point excited. I put it on the table and Zachary says I don't want this kind. What!?! Tantrum number 2 of the day is happening. Off to time out and Eric starting to lose his patience. Now he's taking away the trains. Zachary is distraught over the loss of his trains but manages to calm down and sit at the table. He refuses to eat for the next 45 minutes. Cars are now gone as well. Timer is set and once that goes off shower and straight to bed if he doesn't eat. Nothing. Timer beeps... hello tantrum number 3! Sticking to our guns he gets a shower and he's in bed. The screaming lasts for a while, but we are sticking to our plan. Finally we give in and go check on him. He calms down and goes to sleep. So, yeah, I really killed it as a mom.